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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Killing the snake

Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did and the following morning Johnny described everything to his mother. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started to kiss and hug her. I figured she must be starting to get sick because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart just like the doctor would. He was getting sick too because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting outta breath. His other hand must have been getting cold cuz he put it under her skirt. This is when sis's fever started. I know this 'cause she told him she was really HOT. Finally I found out what was making them sick...a big snake had gotten in his pants somehow. It just jumped outta his pants and stood there about 9 inches long. He grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When she saw it she got really scared 'cause her eyes got big, her mouth fell open and she started calling to God. She got brave and tried to kill the snake by biting its head off. All of a sudden she made a noise and let the snake go. I guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the snakes head to keep it from biting again. Sis laid back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it. He helped her by laying on top of the snake. The snake put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost broke the couch. After awhile they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. He sat up and sure enough they had killed the snake. I knew it was dead becuz it just hung there limp and some of its insides were hanging out. They were tired from the battle but they started hugging and kissing again. But the snake wasn't dead after all! It jumped straight up & started to fight again. I guess snakes are like cats...they have 9 lives or something. This time sis jumped up & tried to kill the snake by sitting on it. After about 35 minutes of struggle, they finally killed the snake. I know it was dead this time becuz I saw sis's boyfriend peel off the skin and flush it down the toilet." Mother fainted.

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